Summerslam Preview
Summerslam is tomorrow! I'm probably not getting it since I don't watch much wrestling these days, but I'm still going to make a few predictions:
CM Punk beats the Big Show and John Cena
Triple H beats Brock Lesnar
Sheamus beat Alberto Del Rio
Dolph Ziggler beats Chris Jericho
Kofi-Truth beats Primetime Players
The Miz beats Rey Mysterio
Daniel Bryan beats Kane
SHOW REVIEWS
Oriental Heat's Review of TNA Hardcore Justice
no Gail Kim?
fuck this
The Hitman's Raw Raw Report
I didn't watch Raw, but I heard that a lot happened. If you're going to watch Summerslam, you might want to check it out.
The Hitman's Impact Report
I didn't watch the show, but I heard TIFFANY came back. Stay tuned for the BREAKING NEWS segment for more news on that.
BREAKING NEWS
In honor of Taryn Tarrell (TIFFANY!) returning to wrestling. My avatar will be changing back to her, once again...if you're reading this on Sunday or Monday, you probably already noticed this.
THE HITMAN PLAYS GAMES
Nancy Drew: The Haunted Carousel
So, during the Summer Steam Sale, a game appeared in my games list that I had never seen before. It was a Nancy Drew game. I know for a fact, I never bought a Nancy Drew game. Why would I? I'm pretty sure those are for girls. I think they may have come with a bundle that I bought. I don't know. What I do know is that my experiences playing this game must be recorded. Where better to record these experiences that the return of the Hitman Observer Newsletter?
Okay. The menu is a stack of books. Clever!
My first decision is whether or not I'm a Junior or Senior Detective or to take the tutorial. I chose Senior Detective, because I'm a real man (playing a girls game)!
Nancy Drew sounds like she's in hew thirties. I always thought she was akid.
Oh man. Someone stole a horse from a carousel? The carousel spins by itself? Creepy!
The first thing I did was look around the hotel room they placed me in. Laptop! There's something called Flag Game on the laptop. I must play it. It's basically Bejeweled with Nautical Flags. I spent 20 minutes beating the game twice before moving on.
The laptop also has Things to Do and a Journal with both actually seem like they'll be helpful on my quest.
Also there's email. Apparently I've signed up for Sassy Detective Online. I'm hoping that that Board is the female equivalent to the one I'm used to, because I'm so there if it is.
Just noticed I have a cell phone. After the pre-requisite attempt at calling 1-900-HOTSLUT, I checked the directory and saw I have the Hardy Boys number! Unfortunately it's Frank and Joe not Matt and Jeff. Okay, they offer me some advice that I really wasn't listening to so now I guess that it's time to actually play the game.
Apparently I'm supposed to call the woman who wanted me to solve the mystery. She pretty much rehashes what I've already been told, so I'm going to head to the Amusement park.
Lot's of talking! First I talked to the security guard, who let me into the place and gave me a ride and games card! Sweet! After like five minutes of talking, I got to see a security tape of the Haunted Carousel! Spooky!
Then I had to go talk to the accountant. She was whiny and boring. I looked around her office, being the great detective that I am of course, and I found a note! Apparently somebody tried to sell one of the horses from the carousel. SUSPICIOUS!
I've had enough detective work for one day! I'm going to the midway to play some games. The first game was a swimmer's game that was a lot like tht parking game on my phone. I won a token for beating three levels! Next was squid toss. This was a frustrating squid tossing game and now I'm onut of fun credits. I guess that means I'm done with the game.
Well, that was an hour of fun.
NEXT ISSUE
Coming in a week or so, I will have my college football predictions along with any thoughts I may have on the Summerslam PPV. Stay tuned!
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