The Hitman's Impactful Impact! Report - August 2, 2012

I didn't watch the show, but I heard there was a ladies match that was a mess. James Storm vs. Kurt Angle might have been good. You might want to check it out. Or don't.

The Hitman's Raw RAW Report

I didn't watch it but I heard C.M. Punk was on it.  p. good show...maybe...I don't know

The Hitman's RAW Report

Didn't watch, obv.

TNA Impact Wrestling - 10/13/2011 Live Play-by-play!

TOTAL NONSTOP ALCOHOL IMPACT IS BACK!!!!

I haven't even poured one yet

Kurt looks old

It sucks that WWE somehow owns "It's true"

Ah fuck, I owe WWE money now.

Vinnie V in the front row!

He has the belt and all the power!

I liked that segment...except for the fake fans making noise. They sucked.

I want a Monsters Ball match at Bound For Glory GODDAMMIT!

I want Jarrett and Abyss for the Mexican Title in a MONSTER'S BALL MATCH

My God, Jerry Lynn is fucking old

In other news, the sky is blue

Rob Van Dam and A.J. Styles beat Christopher Daniels and Jerry Lynn

I enjoyed that match


Matt Morgan beat Samoa Joe

Remember when Samoa Joe was one half of the biggest buy rate in company history?

Joe is fat

And bitchy

And sweaty

And probably smelly.  No wonder they bury him.

YOU STINK JOE (literally)



I like Hernandez and his lackey friend.

Rosita is fucking tiny

They made a Paranormal Activity 2?

Spanky and Jobber beat Austin Aries and Kid Kash

I fucking love Austin Aries (no homo)

Who the fuck is this jobber?

SPANKY USED THE BELT! DISQUALIFY HIM!

Fuck you Spanky and Jobber Friend.

Buncha Knockouts brawled

Is this catfight in slow motion?

Okay, I'm done.  Gonna go play NBA2K12

Hell in a Cell 2011 Predictions

Beth Phoenix over Kelly Kelly
Sin Cara over Sin Cara
Sheamus over Christian
John Cena over Alberto Del Rio and CM Punk (pinning Del Rio)
Mark Henry over Randy Orton

Suck it limericklad!